May 6 - Feast of the Burning Bush - Mexico

Whilst the 5th of May is famous all around the world as Cinco de Mayo, a celebration of an unlikely Mexican victory over the French, a lesser know holiday, Mexico's version of Boxing Day, (another pointless holiday) is Seis De Mayo (6 May). Not known until 1907, Seis De Mayo, or Feast of the Burning Bush Day gained both notoriety and fame when young Jose Morego, with nothing much to do the day after Cinco de Mayo, used the matches from the previous days fireworks celebration to set fire to a small shrub in his parents back yard.

As he danced around the burning shrub in delight, he didn't notice the spark that jumped into his pocket and set off the fireworks he was still carrying from the previous day. Young Jose woke up 3 days later and assisted humanity by not being able to procreate and transfer his stupid gene to future generations. His parents however, did not wish the shame of his stupidity to transfer to the family name, so they concocted the story that a vision had come from the sky and in a flash of lightning instructed the young Jose that the world would end on February 18 1958.

Mexicans, being both deeply religious and highly superstitious, immediately believed the story and adopted young Jose as a prophet. After his untimely death at the hands of a ruthless mob on 19 February 1958 (when the truth became all too clear) his story was commemorated every Seis De Mayo by firework displays and the public proclomation of this specially written poem by Nobel Laureate, G Nino Hernandez,

Un muchacho bailó ronda una zarza ardiente, sus bolsillos llenos de galletas. Uno cayó entre las piernas y destruyó off tanto sus instalaciones.*




Young Jose after the accident counting down the time till the end of days. Notice the crossed legs.

 *A rough English translation : A boy danced round a burning bush, his pockets full of crackers. One fell down between his legs and blew off both his knackers.

March 16 – 70’s Day - Turkmenistan

It all began in 1964 in the small village of Almekastan, all the men would wear wide trousers, polyester shirts and the local women’s high heel wedges. Somehow this fashion statement caught on worldwide. Inexplicably this trend seemed to peter out on 31 December 1979. The locals in the town speak in hushed terms about government conspiracies; others suggest it was a trick of time due to the continued use of the Julian calendar. Turkmen scientists have now conclusively proved, after 17 years of state funded research, that it was due to the decade ending.

Local Hipsters await the start of celebrations - 2008

Every March 16 the 70‘s are remembered fondly with displays of bad taste and poor colour co-ordination.

 

February 12 – St Danielle’s Day – Panama

Born of a failed stockbroker and deaf piano teacher, St Danielle led a sheltered and chaste life till her 83^rd birthday. She then declared that the Virgin Mary had come to her in a vision and chosen her to champion the cause of prohibition in her small village.



It was unspoken, but the villagers understood the Virginity of St Danielle. (File Picture)



The next day her dead body was found in her small wooden shack. The locals mourned her mysterious death and quickly cremated her remains to ward off evil spirits. They then celebrated her life by building a public house in her memory and naming the first wine of the season in her honour. Rumour has it that Pope Pius IV got drunk on St Danielle’s wine ( known then as Ugly D’s ) and woke up the next day without a hangover, it’s a miracle he declared and thus Danielle the ugly became St Danielle...

The lord doth work in mysterious ways....

January 1 – It’s not Chinese New Year Day – China

All over China this day is resolutely ignored by 1 billion people who care not a stitch that you have pledged to lose 10lbs and give up chocolates chip cookies. In the remote mountain village of Wang Hock in the Husen Province, 7 monks remove each others body hair using nothing but lengths of dental floss. It is believed that this ceremony dates back to the Boxer revolution over 100 years ago. 

The origin of the day - Nothing Happened

And is completed unrelated to the lack of celebration of INCNY Day

365 Days of holidays that just may be!

Every day is a celebration of something, life, love, maybe just being here for one more day... But we humans have a passion to celebrate and revere the ridiculous. Here you will (eventually) find something for every day of the year.. and even if they don't quite receive the recognition they deserve (or currently don't exist), maybe this will just give them the forum to shine.


And if you have a date that should be recognised, please feel to leave a comment and we will fill the calender with the sublime to the ridiculous.. as has always been mans want!